


the thrust of justice

by green_piggy



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Just bros being bros, No Spoilers, i hate them, i hate them they ruined my life i want to adopt them all, i take writing seriously i say as i write this entire fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 00:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9148726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_piggy/pseuds/green_piggy
Summary: Noctis and Prompto stumble across a rather interesting hobby of Gladiolus's.





	

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry that this is my first ffxv these people all ruined my life they all deserve so much better I HATE THEM

“This Dino guy is the _worst_ ,” Prompto whined as they all clambered into the Regalia. “We have to go halfway across the world to a spot where his stone _might_ be, and then go the other half back to give it to him.”

“You’re not driving,” Gladiolus snapped. The car shook as he threw his body weight into his seat, crossing his arms with a huff.

Prompto’s eyes lit up. “I _could_ —“

“ _No_.” The rest of them chimed at once. Prompto grumbled and sank down in the seat.

“I _have_ got my licence, y’know…”

“And to this day, I still do not know how,” Ignis said as he turned the key and the Regalia purred to life. “Shall we be off?”

From the back seat, Noctis made a noise that could have meant anything. Ignis chose to interpret it as an affirmative sound. With a second glance at the sulking Prompto, Ignis flexed his fingers on the wheel and pushed his foot down on the accelerator.

It was a glorious day, even by Cleigne’s standards, and six in the morning meant that there were few other cars around. They all needed rest, but they could crash at the caravan at Galdin Quay.

A few hours later, Ignis pulled over after Prompto’s continued moans and increasingly desperate threats to piss over the car and everything else, if there _was_ anything else, that Ignis treasured if he didn’t get out _right this second_. He complied because he didn’t want the poor Regalia’s seat to become soiled; he was sure that Prompto could wash his own clothes.

He raised an eyebrow when Prompto dragged Noctis with him, shouting about there being something on his phone that Noct had to see _right_ now, but it wasn’t the strangest thing he’d ever done. Sighing, he crossed his arms and sat on the edge of the road next to Gladiolus. The usual silence greeted him, but not Gladiolus’s usual ‘I cannot be bothered interacting with people’ silence. He looked over with a hum; Gladiolus was crouched over his mobile, typing at an impressive speed.

“Iris?” he asked when he caught a long screen of words. Not a single paragraph; he shivered at the horrible sight.

Gladiolus’ thumbs did not stop. His tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth. “Something like that,” he grunted, an answer that told Ignis nothing.

At that moment, however, Ignis did not have the opportunity to ask any more questions; Noctis and Prompto stumbled through the bushes, the pair of them _grinning_. Prompto was waving his phone about, while Noctis was not even attempting to hide his snorts and chortles.

_Hmm_ , Ignis thought with a push of his glasses. _How interesting._

Prompto clapped Gladiolus’s shoulder with a massive grin. Had it been anyone else save the three of them, that person’s arm would have been dislocated. (At least Prompto hadn’t slapped his behind, as he was prone to doing for… _some_ reason.) “Yo, big guy! Mind swapping seats with me?”

_That_ made Gladiolus finally glance up. Ignis raised not one, but two eyebrows, a movement he saved only for truly peculiar situations.

“Please,” Noctis said, in the tone of voice that meant that he was going to unleash the dreaded puppy eyes onto them if Gladiolus said no.

Gladiolus grumbled, swinging his arms back as he stood up, phone still clutched in his hand. A book was sticking out of his back pocket; Ignis frowned when he read the title of it, right before Gladiolus jerked his jacket over it.

_‘A Night of Passion’? Really?_

“Sure.” He flipped the top of Prompto’s hair and made him wobble like a bottom-heavy doll. “Just be prepared to have no legroom.”

Prompto grinned. “I can live with that.” He had swung over the top of the Regalia before Ignis could _politely_ remind him to please not do that. Noctis did the exact same, climbing into his usual seat. With a shake of his head, Ignis entered into his own side with significantly more grace and dignity.

Gladiolus shoved the front seat as far back as it went—

“DUDE!”

Ignis sighed and glanced over his shoulder.

“Gladio,” he said, voice resigned. In the background, Prompto continued to make bizarre dying noises. “Could you perhaps wait for Prompto to move his legs next time?”

“Sorry,” Gladiolus said, grinning, as he pulled the seat forward by not even an inch. Still, it was enough legroom for Prompto to wiggle his legs out and smack them on the seat next to him.

“Dude, not funny! I could have died!” Prompto shivered. “Could you imagine? ‘Cause of death: legs crushed to death’?”

“I’m not _that_ tall,” Gladiolus guffawed.

“You’re ten inches taller than me!”

“You’re just short.”

“I am _not_ short!”

“Children,” Ignis tsked. Noctis had a look of half amusement, half exhaustion. “Cease this bickering.”

“Sorry…” Prompto pouted. Gladiolus snorted, but said nothing. He had his phone out again, Ignis realised, and he saw Prompto and Noctis leaning over the former’s phone again.

He let out a small huff. So be it. If they wished to play on their devices, who was he to stop them?

He had barely put his foot on the accelerator when he heard the smallest of _giggles_ from Noctis. The sheer strangeness of the sound was nearly enough to make him slam on the brakes and check His Majesty’s temperature.

“…Man,” he could hear Prompto mutter, sounding amused, “who describes eyes as ‘shining orbs’ nowadays?”

“This guy does, apparently.”

Ignis thought he saw Gladiolus’s hand twitch around his phone.

“Oh – oh _man_ , are they seriously gonna kiss in the rain?”

“Ten gil that the guy cries a single tear that is hidden by the rain.”

“Dude, you kiddin’? I’d bet a hundred.”

“Do you _have_ a hundred?” Noctis asked. Ignis could only imagine the flat look he was probably giving his friend.

Prompto’s only reply was embarrassed silence, but oddly enough, his wasn’t the only silence in the car. By now, Gladiolus usually would have asked them to pipe down or cuff one of them, usually Prompto, around the back of the neck.

They were going at a relatively slow speed, the sunlight beating down on them. There were no other vehicles on the straight road, so Ignis chanced a glance over to his passenger.

…Was Gladiolus _blushing_? Ignis blinked, once, twice—

“Watch out!” Gladiolus barked. He yanked the steering wheel to avoid a pothole in the road. He didn’t say anything, but when he crossed his arms stiffly, it was impossible to miss the disappointed aura flowing from him.

“Are you sunburnt?” Gladiolus didn’t usually burn; Prompto usually was the first, and he did so at an alarming rate. They used him as a gauge; when Prompto’s face exploded into a constellation of freckles, it was time to lather sun cream onto everyone else. Noctis, by some bizarre twist of fate, never burnt. _Never_.

“No,” Gladiolus grumbled. His eyes flickered to the two in the back. “Not at all.”

Prompto and Gladiolus must have locked eyes, because seconds later, the former’s nervous laughter rang out alongside Gladiolus’s quiet huff.

“What are you two even _reading_?” Ignis murmured.

Gladiolus’s back went ram-rod straight.

“Some story Prompto found online.” Noctis paused, sounding as though he had only just come to a realisation he should have had a long time ago. “Why are you even _reading_ Justice Monsters Five fanfiction?”

“Fanfiction?” Ignis parroted.

“A guy gets bored!”

“What is ‘fanfiction’?” he asked again.

“You find any good lemons?” Noctis said, voice flat. Ignis could _hear_ the grin creeping into his voice. “Apart from this one.”

Ignis opened his mouth, confused, but still wanting to help: “Noct, if you are, _somehow_ , looking for a healthy snack—“

Gladiolus whirled around on his seat. “’The Thrust of Justice’ is NOT a lemon!” he roared.

Silence. Even the wind seemed to have gone quiet.

Then, after seconds of muted sniggers, Prompto _cackled_.

“I knew it!” He clapped his hands. “I _knew it_!”

Gladiolus made a growl that he usually reserved for anyone attempting to flirt with Iris. Ignis’ eyes hurriedly scanned the horizon for a decent parking space as he heard the man rise out of his seat.

“Gladio,” he warned, voice low. Losing Prompto would be unfortunate; when the boy wasn’t unconscious, he made for excellent bait, what with all of the shrieking and flailing he did.

…Perhaps that was a bit harsh. His shots _did_ land.

…On occasion.

Prompto was scrambling back in his seat, shrieking and hollering as he waved his phone away from Gladiolus’s claw of a hand. Noctis was too busy laughing to be of assistance, holding his sides.

“You can’t – Prompto, don’t take a picture of Gladio’s face!”

“Hey now, this is too good to pass up!”

“You won’t need a picture if it’s the last thing you ever see!” Gladiolus roared.

No parking spaces in sight. No other cars on the road. In the front mirror, all Ignis could see was Gladiolus’s behind as he shimmied over the seat towards the squealing Prompto.

Sighing, Ignis flexed his fingers, wiggled his toes, and hoped that Gladiolus would forgive him. Every good team required a bait, after all.

He slammed his foot on the breaks.

“OFT!”

“Dude dude _dude_!” Prompto yelped. Noctis’s laughter had somehow grown even louder. “Get your head out of my crotch!”

“Prompto, take a picture!” Noctis called.

“What is _wrong_ with you!?”

Gladiolus smacked a hand onto Prompto’s face and pushed, using him to propel himself upwards. Prompto’s head smacked the back of his seat as Gladiolus rose up to his full height.

“Never,” Gladiolus growled, “call that story bad again.” He paused, looking as though he wanted to say more, but he ended up wordlessly crawling back into his seat and crossing his arms tight against his chest.

Noctis and Prompto exchanged looks. Ignis pushed up his glasses.

“…If I may be as bold to say so,” he began, continuing only when all three of them were looking at him: “Some of the sexual positions in that story of yours are rather…” He smiled. “Unrealistic.”

There was deathly silence, the silence that emerged when you received the news of a loved one passing on.

Then, the air _exploded_ :

“YOU’RE READ THEM!?” Prompto yelled. “No way, Iggy, which one was your fave!?”

Gladiolus had his hands over his face, his entire body going lava red.

Noctis glanced at Ignis, then Gladiolus, then sunk his head into his jacket. “I am not going to ask…”

“How would you _know_ if they’re unrealistic?” Prompto mused. He gasped. “Iggy, you _haven’t_ —“

“I didn’t say a thing.” He pushed his foot down on the accelerator. “Now, let’s go.”

“How did you _know_ about them?” Gladiolus mumbled, sounding more embarrassed than what Ignis had ever heard from him before.

“ _That’s_ what you’re concerned about!?” Prompto cried. “I’m more worried about how he knows how realistic the – the _sex_ is!”

Ignis slammed the brakes again.

“Dude, stop _doing_ that!” Prompto snapped, retrieving his head from the back of Gladiolus’s seat. The man himself was still utterly silent, still utterly red.

“Stop being so ridiculous, then. We haven’t time to sally around. The daemons will come out soon.”

“It’s eleven in the morning…” Noctis trailed off when he saw the hard look Ignis was giving him in the front mirror. “Okay, yeah, let’s go.”

“I’m glad you understand, Noct.”

Prompto pouted. “Hey, c’mon—“

Ignis hit the accelerator and allowed the wind to carry away the rest of Prompto’s words.

“Thank you,” Gladiolus mumbled when Noctis and Prompto had begun to chat again in the back, this time about a much more innocent topic.

Ignis smiled, pushing up his glasses. “No problem at all, Gladio. Just so long as I get a preview of your next story this afternoon.”

Gladiolus stilled.

“I _did_ see you working on it before.”

It was several seconds before Gladiolus’s low reply: “… _Deal._ ”


End file.
